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The Hitchhiker's Guide to Bangkok

The Hitchhiker's Guide to Bangkok

AKA how 10x your DevCon / EthBangkok 2024 experience

Luke Cassady-Dorion's photo
Luke Cassady-Dorion
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30 min read

Table of contents

gm.

I lived in Bangkok for 18 years, from 2004 until 2022. When I first moved there, the internet was barely a thing. Most people didn't have computers in their homes, and internet cafes were the main hubs for gaming and the occasional email. Banking required in-person visits, and every month, I’d carry a pile of cash down to the 7/11 to pay my bills. This all began to change with the release of the iPhone in 2007 and the subsequent rise of Android phones costing as little as $10 USD. The country underwent rapid transformation; suddenly, everyone had a computer in their pocket, everything moved online, and with YouTube opening a Thailand office in 2014, there was an explosion of Thai language content available.

I wrote this guide hoping to share a city I love with all of you. Bangkok is chaotic, crazy, unfathomable, and a beast unto itself. It's beautiful, loud, dirty, modern—it’s everything all at once. Thailand is much more than the little corner of space where the convention is held. Get out and explore!

I encourage you to come early and relax on a beach, stay after and volunteer with elephants, eat at my top-5 local restaurants and experience new Thai dishes from around the country, go to bars, and nightclubs, get a Thai massage, escape from the madness and relax in a Japanese onsen... and, of course, learn a bit of the language.

This is a living document. If you have any questions or feel I missed something, please add a comment and I’ll update it.

If you find this guide helpful, please consider giving back to Thailand by minting an NFT with Unchained Elephants. All funds raised from selling their NFTs go to rescuing Thai elephants and helping them settle into sanctuaries.

Transportation

The key to maintaining (relative) sanity in Bangkok is to avoid getting in a car at all costs. Traffic in Bangkok is horrible, next-level horrible. The ride-sharing app may tell you your destination is 1 km away, but that could still take you hours at peak times. Instead, take the Skytrain (BTS) and Subway (MRT). The Queen Sirikit Convention Center is located at the Queen Sirikit Convention Center MRT stop, which is 1 stop from the Asok BTS interchange.

The exception to the avoid-cars rule is when you're out late at night. If you're hacking until late at night, the roads should be (mostly) ok.

Ride-sharing

  • Grab car (Grab bought Uber South East Asia)

Airport Transportation

  • From the Suvarnabhumi Airport (BKK), you can either wait in the queue for a taxi or take the Airport Link train into the city. The Airport Link connects to the BTS at the Phaya Thai station, and from there you can get to any of the hotels I've recommended. A taxi is fine if you get in late at night or mid-day. I highly recommend the Airport Link if you arrive at peak travel times.

Taxis

  • Taxis are required by law to use the meter; most will, and some won't. Taxis are required by law to take you wherever you want; most will, and some will just outright refuse to go places where the traffic is bad. If you find yourself dealing with a difficult driver, you can try arguing, but I advise you to just find a new cab. Arguing with a Thai taxi driver (especially in English) is a Sisyphean task.

Motorcycle Taxis

Motorcycle taxis are a popular and efficient way to get around Bangkok, especially for short distances. They are great for navigating through the city's notorious traffic jams. You'll see them at designated stands with riders wearing numbered vests. These drivers are very knowledgeable about the small shops and local spots in their areas. If you're taking public transport to a restaurant, it's common to get off and take a motorcycle taxi the rest of the way.

  • If you're wearing a skirt, you can sit side-saddle.

  • If you're tall, be extra careful when they cut through traffic as you could whack your knees on a passing car.

Hotels

I've picked fun hotels in hip places with a cool Bangkok vibe. The first two sections are all within 20 minutes of the convention center by public transport, and the third group is within walking distance.

Hotels: Higher end

  1. Kimpton Maalai (BTS Pleon Chit)

  2. Sindhorn Midtown (BTS Chitlom)

  3. SO/Bangkok by Sofitel (MRT Lumphini)

Hotels: Mid-range

  1. The Standard (BTS Chong Nonsi)

  2. Moxy (BTS Chitlom)

  3. Public House (BTS Asok)

Hostels

These three hostels are located near the final station of the AirportLink train that runs into the city from the airport. They’re also near the PhayaThai BTS station, which makes them about a 30 minute trip to the convention center on the BTS SkyTrain and MRT Subway. Khaosan Road is also famous for hostels, but those hostels are mostly full of drunk and high backpackers. If you want a chiller hostel vibe, check out these places instead.

Walking Distance

  1. Sofitel SO

  2. Modena by Fraser

  3. Wyndham Bangkok Queen Convention Centre

  4. The Fig Lobby (this place looks really cool)

Visas

The Thai government recently relaxed visa rules by increasing the number of days most passport holders can travel visa-free to 60, and increasing the number of countries they can visit visa-free.

Thailand recently launched a new 5 year digital nomad visa, this video does a great job explaining it … just skip over the (too long) intro.

Restaurants

High-end

  1. Paste Bangkok

  2. Nahm

  3. Saawaan

  4. Eat Me

Mid-range

  1. The Local

  2. Khua Kling Pak Sod

  3. Sri Trat

Casual and street food

  1. Somtum Der

  2. Yaowarat (Chinatown)

  3. LayLao

  4. Feel like exploring? Check this out.

Places For Big Group Dinners

  1. Baan Khanitha (Sathorn): Great Thai food in an old-fashioned house. They can make vegan, vegetarian, and Muslim-friendly dishes.

  2. khin lom chom saphan: You’ll need to take a Grab car to get here, but the view is worth it. Nestled under a bridge and right on the river, it’s the perfect spot to enjoy a laid-back Thai meal with a larger group. You won’t encounter many tourists, but you’ll find plenty of locals unwinding with friends over delicious, authentic dishes. The riverside setting makes it feel even more special.

  3. Fatboy Izakaya: Fatboy Izakaya is a trendy, modern spot with communal tatami seating, making it perfect for groups. The menu is packed with creative dishes like wagyu rolls with truffle oil, and their cocktails are equally innovative, featuring flavors like yuzu and passionfruit.

  4. Baan Tepa: Baan Tepa offers a fine dining experience with a focus on sustainability and zero waste. The 12-course tasting menu is a culinary journey through Thailand, showcasing seasonal ingredients and Chef Tam’s influences from across the country.

  5. Potong: Housed in a historic, multi-story building, Potong is a culinary gem that blends Thai-Chinese traditions with modern, experimental flavors. Chef Pam’s 20-item tasting menu reimagines classic dishes, making it a top choice for special occasions.

  6. Siri Mahannop: Siri Mahannop offers a unique dining experience aboard a model of a Royal Thai Navy ship, cruising along the Chao Phraya River. With freshly caught seafood, oysters, and inventive cocktails, it's an ideal setting for a memorable birthday or special event against the backdrop of a sunset over Bangkok.

Food courts

Unlike the USA, where mall food courts are filled with Sbarro, McDonald's, and other fast-food chains that might leave you questioning your life choices, Bangkok's mall food courts are really nice. You'll find lots of healthy, delicious options, typically priced under $2 USD for a full meal.

While most vendors don't speak English, they often display food in trays, making it easy to point and choose your meal. Almost every food court has at least one vegan stall and multiple halal food stalls. The Terminal 21 food court is close to Queen Sirikit Center, at the junction station between the BTS Asok and MRT Sukhumvit stops. I highly recommend grabbing a quick meal there.

Thai restaurants I eat At Regularly

If you want to get a feel for the Thai food I eat regularly, head to these restaurants and try my recommended dishes. Each showcases a different region of Thailand, and the dishes I’ve picked aren’t the usual options you’d find outside the country. These spots are within a 10-minute walk from the BTS SkyTrain, and meals will only set you back around $7-10 per person. There are always plenty of vegetarian and vegan options, and while pork is common, there are plenty of pork-free dishes too.

Some vegetables might be unfamiliar, so I’ve included rough translations and links to pictures to help you visualize them. I’ve also listed the Thai names—you can just show them to the waiter and dig in!

Coffee culture

ABC: Anything But Starbucks.
Thailand grows amazing coffee in the northern mountains, and has thousands of local coffee shops where you can hang out, drink coffee, work, use WiFi and indulge in a pastry or three. Do yourself a favor though and avoid Starbucks, enjoy something local instead.

กาแฟยูซุ ปั่น Yuzu coffee at home Yuzu Coffee กาแฟน้ำส้มยูสุ แก้ว 16 ออนซ์ กาแฟเจ

Having iced coffee with yuzu orange juice or coconut water has become pretty trendy, it sounded gross to me at first, but now I'm addicted.

Bars and Clubs

Rooftop Bars

  1. Bar.Yard (Kimpton Maa-Lai Hotel)

  2. Sky Beach Bangkok (The Standard Mahanakhon)

  3. Brewski (Radisson Blu)

  4. Octave Rooftop Bar & Lounge (Bangkok Marriott)

  5. Above Eleven (Fraser Suites)

  6. Red Sky (Centara Grand Central World)

  7. Moon Bar (Banyan Tree Hotel)

Cocktail Bars

  1. Vesper

  2. Smalls

  3. Havana Social Club

  4. Maggie Choo’s

Nightclubs

  1. Top 10 Best Nightclubs (Thaiger)

LGBT bars

  1. Rush BKK

  2. Beef BKK

  3. Circus: A great place for a meal and cocktails before going out for the night.

Drag shows

  1. House of Heals

  2. The Stranger Bar

Cool-ass hang out places not to be missed

  1. Soi Nana area
    (NOTE: This is Soi Nana in Chinatown, not Nana Plaza the red light district)

  2. Riverfront:

    • Baan Rim Naam (Great on weekend afternoons. To get there you have to walk down a bunch of small alleys that twist and turn, it may seem like you’re looking for Brigadoon, but if you follow Google Maps, you’ll get there.)

  3. Night & Weekend Markets

Climate

DevCon and EthBangkok are in November, the start of Thailand's cool season when temperatures drop to an average of 32C/90F during the day and a balmy 24C/75F during the night. That said, indoor locations are air-conditioned AF, if you're spending the full day inside the convention center, you'll want a hoodie or something else to keep warm.

Going Out Clothes

While casual bars and restaurants do not have a dress code, nicer restaurants and higher-end nightclubs do. Generally, this means no shorts and no open-toe-shoes ... of course, mini-skirts and high-heels are allowed, but cargo shorts and flip-flops are not.

Tipping

Tipping in Thailand is pretty similar to tipping in Europe. I usually leave 10% in restaurants and about the same with taxis. More expensive restaurants will include a 10% tip, in which case it's customary to leave an additional 20-50 THB in cash with the bill. Taxis will often just round up, if the ride costs 52 THB and you hand the driver 60 THB, he probably won’t offer you change. He’s not ripping you off, it’s just the way things are.

Cash & Electronic Payments

Thai bills come in 20, 50, 100, 500, and 1000 THB denominations; 1 USD is worth 32-37 THB. Department stores, hotels, and nicer restaurants all accept credit cards, but smaller places do not. Most food stalls, street vendors, smaller restaurants, and taxis accept cash and a QR payment system that only works with Thai bank accounts. For smaller purchases, many vendors will not have change for 1000 THB. If you find yourself with a wallet full of big bills, go buy something cheap at one of the 4 billion 7/11 shops around town; they always have change.

ATMs

A warning. Thai ATMs have the worst UX in the world. They give you cash before returning your card, which has led to many-a-friend forgetting their card in the ATM. Be mindful:)

Cannabis Culture

Cannabis is (basically) legal in Thailand and is sold everywhere. There's talk the government will change the laws, but that won't happen until sometime in 2025 (if ever). Smoking in public is still illegal, though; either smoke on your hotel balcony or in a smoking room at a dispensary or bar. Some bars will have outdoor weed smoking areas, which while technically illegal are tolerated. TL;DR if you see locals smoking weed somewhere, it's (probably) safe to light up. Otherwise, don't.

  1. Cannabis Twins

  2. Fat Buds Bangkok (they accept crypto)

  3. Plantopia - Weed City (Khao San Road)

Shopping

Thailand is the land of malls. One part of Sukhumvit Road has 15+ giant malls in a row. In malls, you'll find everything from Lamborghinis to McDonald's, movie theaters with assigned seating, and even Michelin-starred restaurants. Enjoy them, but also check out the countless outdoor street markets where you’ll experience a more authentic version of Thai culture.

  • Chatuchak Weekend Market: If you're here on a weekend, do not miss this (giant) outdoor market with everything from (really unique) clothes to reptiles to housewares. Take the BTS to the Mo Chit station and follow the crowds. It gets hot, though, so I like to go at the start or end of the day when the sun is milder.

  • Siam Paragon Shopping Center: You'll find just about anything here, from designer imports to local clothes.

  • Siam Center: Many local Thai designers have boutiques here, not to be missed if you like fashion.

  • Icon Siam: Located on the river, this mall has a Thai architectural influence and is filled with shops inspired by Thai culture.

  • Apple Stores: We’ve got 3-4 of them. Prices may or may not be cheaper than in your country, check them out here.

Outdoor Activities & Cultural Institutions

Side Trips

Things you can do in 1-3 days via car

It’s both easy and affordable to rent a car and driver for the day in Thailand. Depending on your fuel usage, you can expect to pay around $100/day. You can arrange this through the Grab app or by asking your hotel to assist.

  • Koh Samet: A popular island getaway about 2-3 hours south of Bangkok, often visited by locals on long weekends. If you’re looking for a lively atmosphere with beach parties and dancing, Silver Sands is the place to stay. For a more relaxed experience, consider the quieter vibe of Vimarn Resort.

  • Ayutthaya: The former capital of Thailand and a UNESCO World Heritage site, Ayutthaya makes for a fascinating day trip from Bangkok. I never tire of visiting. The ancient temples and towering stupas have a quiet, haunting beauty that feels timeless. As the day winds down, the golden light of sunset casts long shadows and a warm glow over the ruins, making the red brick structures seem to come alive. The way the light plays off the intricate carvings and weathered stone creates a serene atmosphere that’s hard to put into words. You can easily hire a Grab car for a round-trip, allowing you to explore the ancient ruins and temples at your own pace—trust me, it’s worth the trip.

  • Pattaya: Located just a few hours from Bangkok, Pattaya is a convenient beach destination, though not the most picturesque. The southern area is known for its nightlife and red-light district, while the central and northern parts are more family-friendly. I recommend staying at Siam@Siam for a good balance of style and comfort.

  • Khao Yai National Park: Located about 2-3 hours northeast of Bangkok, Khao Yai National Park offers a refreshing escape into nature. It’s Thailand’s first national park and a UNESCO World Heritage site, home to diverse wildlife, including elephants, gibbons, and over 300 species of birds. You can hike through lush trails leading to beautiful waterfalls like Haew Narok and Haew Suwat. If you're into stargazing, Khao Yai’s clear skies at night offer incredible views of the stars.

  • Kanchanaburi, Kanchanaburi, about 2-3 hours from Bangkok, blends history and nature. Famous for the Bridge over the River Kwai, built by POWs during WWII, it’s a must-visit for history buffs. You can explore the "Death Railway" and Hellfire Pass to reflect on the past. For a unique stay, try a floating raft hotel on the river. Options like The Float House and Jungle Rafts let you sleep on the water, surrounded by serene jungle. Activities include kayaking, swimming, and visiting nearby waterfalls, making it a perfect nature escape with a historical twist.

  • RIVER KWAI JUNGLE RAFTS RESORT - Updated 2024 Prices & Specialty Resort Reviews (Wang Krachae, Thailand)

Phuket, Krabi & The South (Beaches)

Phuket and Krabi are stunning. The dramatic limestone cliffs of Krabi and the vibrant beaches of Phuket offer some of the most breathtaking natural beauty you’ll find. Whether it’s exploring hidden coves by boat or watching the sunset over the Andaman Sea, there’s something magical about the way nature surrounds you in these places.

Chiang Mai & The North (Mountains)

Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai are absolutely stunning, especially at the end of the year when the rainy season has just passed, leaving the hills lush and vibrant green. The cooler weather makes it perfect for exploring, whether you want to relax in a luxury hotel or head into the mountains for trekking adventures. You can even stay with hill tribe villagers, experiencing their way of life up close. It’s an incredible contrast between the natural beauty of the hills and the cultural richness you’ll find in both cities.

Elephant Tourism

Thailand celebrates its national flag

Elephants have played a significant role in Thailand’s history, once used in warfare and appearing on the national flag during the reign of King Rama V. White (albino) elephants, regarded as sacred, are owned by the royal palace and symbolize prosperity and power.

Richard Barrow on X: "In #Thailand, white elephants (ช้างเผือก) are considered sacred & a symbol of royal power. All belong to the King https://t.co/2vaUIN3PBA" / X

Unfortunately, many modern elephant tourism activities like riding, football, and painting are cruel and harmful to the animals. The only ethical way to experience elephants is by visiting a sanctuary, where you can volunteer by paying a small fee. These sanctuaries offer a magical experience: you can feed the elephants, help bathe them in rivers, and enjoy one of Thailand’s most special and humane activities.

Family Friendly Travel

Disclaimer: TBH, I have no idea what kids are into ... these recommendations come from a Thai friend, and it's stuff her kids enjoy. The website https://www.bkkkids.com is also a great place to get info.

Bangkok & Surrounding Areas

Pattaya

Pattaya is (basically) the closest beach to Bangkok, you can get there in 2-3 hours by car and can hire a car service for around $100 USD to take you there. It's not the prettiest beach, but it's close and you can get there by car.

Pattaya does have a reputation for being a giant red-light district, this is all located in the southern part of the city, the central and northern areas are more family-friendly.

Phuket

Phuket is the 3rd largest city in Thailand and is home to many of our most beautiful beaches. It's a flight and not a drive, but it is much prettier than Pattaya.

Religion in Thailand

Thailand is known for its understanding and accommodation of different religions. It is primarily Buddhist, followed by Islamic and Christian.

  • Buddhism: ~95%

  • Islam: ~4%

  • Christianity: ~1%

  • Other: <1%

Buddhism

Buddhism is the predominant religion in Thailand, and you'll find many temples (wats) throughout Bangkok. These temples are great places to escape the madness of the city and do some sitting or walking meditation. Remember to take off your shoes when entering, look for a place with a pile of shoes as a sign. Thai monks follow 227 precepts, including not touching women, so female visitors should be aware of this. Other than that, there's no separation by sex.

Here are some temples you might want to visit:

  • Wat Pathum Wanaram Rachaworawihan: Located near Siam Paragon on royal land, it's a great place for a very local experience. There's a big meditation sala that can be used, and also a nice walking meditation area.

  • Grand Palace: This is the most famous temple complex in Bangkok. It's huge and magnificent. The dress code is strict: no shorts, no mini-skirts, and no exposed shoulders.

  • Wat Pho: One of my favorites! The reclining Buddha is a work of art, especially the mother of pearl inlay on his feet.

  • Wat Arun: Another favorite. I love how understated and simple it is. Fun fact: the Chinese statues all over were originally used as ballast on Chinese trade ships.

Christianity

Christianity, including both Protestant and Catholic denominations, makes up a small portion of the Thai population. However, there are several notable churches in Bangkok:

  • Holy Redeemer Church: Regularly used by the local Catholic community, this church is known for its beautiful architecture and serene atmosphere.

  • Assumption Cathedral: Located near the Chao Phraya River, this historical Catholic church dates back to the early 19th century and features stunning stained glass windows.

  • Christ Church Bangkok: An Anglican church established in the early 20th century, known for its active community and welcoming atmosphere.

  • Santa Cruz Church: A beautiful Catholic church with a long history, located in the Thonburi district. It’s one of the oldest churches in Bangkok.

Muslim

Thailand is known for its hospitality and respect for different religions, so finding halal food is very easy. There is a large Middle Eastern neighborhood with hundreds of restaurants and hotels. Most bars will have a large selection of mocktails as it’s common for Thais to eschew alcohol either because they’re allergic, or because of the Buddhist proscription on getting drunk (which some people interpret to mean abstaining from all alcohol).

Here are some mosques to visit:

  • Darul Aman Mosque: Located near the Ratchathewi BTS stop, this mosque is over 100 years old and is situated in a small, local Muslim community full of street food and small halal restaurants.

  • Haroon Mosque: One of the oldest mosques in Bangkok, located near the Chao Phraya River. It has a rich history and is central to the local Muslim community.

  • Tonson Mosque: The oldest mosque in Bangkok, with a history dating back over 300 years. It's a beautiful place to visit and learn about the history of Islam in Thailand.

  • Bang Uthit Mosque: Another notable mosque known for its community activities and welcoming atmosphere.

LGBT travelers

Thailand is a very safe and welcoming place for LGBT+ travelers, and recently became the first country in South East Asia with marriage equality Thai culture and the Thai language have long understood gender to be fluid and non-binary.

Solo Women Travelers

As usual, with a big city, it's a good idea to keep your wits about you... but Bangkok is generally a safe destination for solo travelers.

Vegetarian / Vegan

It’s very easy to find vegetarian and vegan food in Thailand. Thailand is predominantly Buddhist, and while some people take the Buddha’s teaching of “not killing” literally, meaning they shouldn’t fish or hunt, many people understand it to mean that one should not eat meat either. While this doesn’t mean that the country is predominantly vegetarian, it does mean there is a lot of respect for those who eat vegetarian food. TL;DR, it’s easy to get vegan and vegetarian food anywhere in Thailand, but here are some of my favorite places.

While vegetarian food is easy to get anywhere, you may want to watch out for fish sauce. Sometimes if you order a plate of vegetables from a street vendor they'll come cooked in fish sauce unless you say ไม่เอาน้ำปลา (mai-ao-naam-pla).

Spicy Food

Yes, Thai food is spicy. But it doesn’t have to be. Plenty of dishes are traditionally not made with chillies, and you can (generally) ask for food to be made not spicy. Of course, you’ll have no problem if you love spicy food. See the language section for some helpful phrases.

Massage and Onsens

Thailand is famous for traditional Thai massage, and you'll find small massage places on virtually every street where you can get a Thai massage or a foot massage for $5-10. The following are my favorite places, with Yunomori being my absolute favorite. Yunomori is a Japanese-style onsen where you can get a massage, soak in hot water, take a sauna and steam, and escape from the madness of the city ... and bring your laptop and work in the resting area.

  1. Health Land Spa

  2. Yunomori Onsen

  3. Let’s Relax Massage & Onsen

Medical (necessary and elective)

Thailand is a hub for medical tourism and has world-class healthcare. Private hospitals are very affordable, and you’ll find doctors who speak English, Arabic, Tagalog, and Mandarin in many.

Health checkups / medical emergencies

A full-on, super-everything annual medical checkup will run you 400-1000 USD, depending on age and gender. Most places only require you to book it the day before.

  1. Bumrungrad

  2. Samitivej

  3. BNH Hospital

Dental work

Dental work is VERY affordable in Thailand. A cleaning will cost you ~20 USD and filling cavities is about the same. You can also get laser teeth whitening for a few hundred USD.

  1. Bangkok Grand Dental

  2. Bangkok Smile

Dermatologist

There are dermatologists everywhere in Bangkok, which is (partially) why everyone in town has amazing skin.

  1. ProDerma: This is where I get my botox and laser treatments, book a session with Dr Una, she speaks fluent English.

Domestic airlines

Any of these are fine, and the prices are all pretty competitive. I usually pick the one with the best timing. Most domestic flights are out of the older Don Meung airport (DMK), but some are out of the newer Suvarnabhumi airport (BKK). If you are planning a domestic flight to line up with an international flight, I'd aim for the BKK airport; otherwise, DMK is better (faster).

Exercise

Yoga

Pilates

Rhythm Cycle (SoulCycle)

Crossfit

Gyms

  • Jett Fitness: They have locations all over Thailand, the Asok location is closest to the convention center. They’re open 24/7 and offer monthly memberships with no sign-up fees or commitments.

Culture Notes

Eating out

Thai food is served family style. When going to a restaurant, it’s customary for the server to seat you, bring menus, and then just stand there and wait for people to start ordering. Generally, people will just start yelling out dishes, which will be cooked and served in whatever order the kitchen feels like. As it’s assumed everyone will share everything, it is not common for dishes to be served simultaneously.

In Thai culture, it’s customary for the oldest (or sometimes richest) person at the table to pay the bill. That said, if you have a business meal with a Thai person and they offer to pay, it’s polite to let them, even if they are younger.

If splitting the bill with multiple people, be prepared to use cash. Don’t ask the server to split the bill between 5++ cards, they won’t do it.

The Monarchy

Thailand has a very strict lese-majeste law that applies equally to foreigners. Take this VERY seriously, you could find yourself spending years in jail for something like insulting the monarchy and there is NOTHING your embassy will be able to do to help.

Feet

Feet are considered dirty and should be used only for ambulatory purposes. Always take off your shoes when entering someone’s home (and many businesses), do not use your feet to point things out, and if you ever drop a coin on the ground do not step on it to stop it from rolling.

Language guide

Thai is a monosyllabic tonal language, which introduces efficiencies not found in Romance and Germanic languages. In non-tonal languages, new words are created by chaining together consonants and vowels, resulting in long, multi-syllable words. In Thai, tones add a third dimension to each syllable. Each syllable can be pronounced in one of five different tones, allowing for multiple meanings per syllable thus reducing the time needed to pronounce words. This means the time to say a complete sentence in Thai is often 15-20% shorter than in English, leading to quicker communication.

Thai grammar is simple and straightforward. Thai does not use verb conjugations or noun declension. Words do not change form to indicate quantity. Instead, context and additional words indicate time and quantity. Sentence structure is subject-verb-object (SVO). The TLDR is that if you memorize ~500 words, you can communicate efficiently by mixing them together.

Basic Phrases

As there is no official way to Romanize the Thai alphabet, I've chosen to provide the IPA for people familiar with it and also an anglicization, which is an approximation of the Thai sounds in context of the English language ... but please note, it's an approximation and a hack, kinda like writing JavaScript using crayons.

English PhraseThai PhraseIPA (International Phonetic Alphabet)Anglicization
Helloสวัสดีsà.wàd.diisa-wa-s-dee
LOL555hâa hâa hâaha ha ha
Bangkok (The official name for Bangkok has the world record for longest city name. But locals just call it “Krung Thep”)กรุงเทพ (กรุงเทพมหานคร อมรรัตนโกสินทร์ มหินทรายุธยา มหาดิลกภพ นพรัตนราชธานีบูรีรมย์ อุดมราชนิเวศน์มหาสถาน อมรพิมานอวตารสถิต สักกะทัตติยวิษณุกรรมประสิทธิ์)kruŋ thêep (kruŋ thêep mahǎa nákhoon amɔɔn ráttánákoosǐn mahǐn thraajʔuttháyaa mahǎa dílók phóp nɔ́ppharát ráatchathaanii buuriirǒm ùdom ráatchaniwéet mahǎa sàthǎan amɔɔn phimaanaawátāːrasàthít sák ká thát tii wísanúk kám pràsìt)Krung Thep (Krung Thep Maha Nakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Yutthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udom Ratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathatthiya Witsanukam Prasit)
Where is the bathroom?ห้องน้ำอยู่ไหนhɔ̂ŋ náam yùu nǎihong nam yoo nai
I (The word meaning “I” changes based on the speaker's gender. Also, see “pronouns” above.)ผม - Male-identifying / ฉัน - Female-identifyingphǒm / chǎnphom / chan
I’m vegetarianผมกินมังสวิรัติphǒm kin maaŋsàwíráttphom gin mang-sa-wi-rat
I’m veganผมวีกันphǒm wii kanphom vegan
I don’t eat porkผมไม่กินหมูphǒm mâi kin mǔuphom mai gin moo
I keep a halal dietผมกินอาหารมูสลิมphǒm kin ʔaahǎan mùusàlímphom gin ahan Muslim
Not spicy pleaseไม่เอาเผ็ดmâi ʔao phètmai ao phet
Please, no chillies at allไม่เอาพริกสักเม็ดครับmâi ʔao phrík sàk mết khrápmai ao prik sak met krap
I love spicy foodผมชอบอาหารเผ็ดมากphǒm chɔ̂ɔp ʔaahǎan phèt mâakphom chop ahan phet mak
Even though I’m not Thai, I can still eat spicy food. Don’t hold back.ถึงแม้ว่าผมเป็นฝรั่ง แต่ขอบอาหารเผ็ดมากเลยครับthǔŋ máae wâa phǒm pen faràng tàe khɔ̂ɔp ʔaahǎan phèt mâak ʔao ləəi khrápthoeng mae wa phom pen farang, tae chop ahan phet mak loei krap
Do you believe in the transformative power of DeFi? If so, do you want to go on a date?คุณเชื่อในพลังการเปลี่ยนแปลงของ DeFi ถ้าเชื่อ อยากไปเดทมั้ยครับkhuň chʰɤ̂ɯ nai pʰalaŋ kaːn plìːan plâːŋ khɔːŋ DeFi tàːj rʉ́ʉ mâj tʰâː chʰɤ̂ɯ khuň jàːk paj dêːt májkhun chuea nai phalang kan plian plaeng khong DeFi, tha chuea, yak pai date mai krap
No worries / no problem (This is a catch-all phrase used throughout the day for various reasons.)ไม่เป็นไรmâi pen ráimai pen rai

Pronouns

Pronouns have become a hot topic in the West lately. In Thai, however, their use and nuance have been baked into the language for thousands of years. Thai pronouns can be challenging due to their context-dependence, reflecting social hierarchy, age, and familiarity. There are around 40-50 pronouns, and their use is based on the relationship between speakers.

For example, when talking to a woman of a similar age to your mom, you would call her “auntie.” This further bifurcates: if she's slightly younger than your mother, you would say “younger auntie,” older than your mother, “older auntie”. This may seem confusing, but what makes it easy to grok is that the same pronouns are used for both “you” and “I”.

In the example above, the “older auntie” would speak roughly like “older auntie wants to make sure younger nephew is getting enough to eat, come over for dinner”. You just listen to the pronoun someone uses to refer to themselves and then use it back.

As a visitor, you don’t need to worry about this, but it’s a fun bit of trivia that linguaphiles will enjoy.

Getting SWAG Made

People have asked me where to get SWAG made locally. I haven’t tried these four places, but they seem pretty good. If you’re ordering clothes, one bit of advice, be sure to tell them if you want “Western sizes” or “Asian sizes”. I’m 175cm 69kg and in Thailand I buy L and XL clothes, but in USA I can usually buy a M or even a S.

Questions?

Let me know below and I'll update.

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